(The following article is written from a very a personal view point, and should be read as such.)
The most horrifying part of being abused is how alone it makes you feel. You’re absolutely certain that you’re the only person in the world it’s happening to. What’s worse is that it’s happening to you because there’s something about you that makes you special, makes you cursed, in all the wrong sorts of ways.
I can so clearly remember feeling this way, back when I was being sexually abused. I was so certain that what was happening to me couldn’t possibly be happening to anyone else. The world simply could not be such a horrible place as to allow that. Of course this was back in the early to mid 90’s when the full horror of the sex abuse which we now know was, and possibly still is, rampant in Ireland had yet to be revealed. It was those revelations which would finally lifted the lid on one of the dirty little secrets of childhood sexual, and physical abuse.
It can happen to anyone.
While it’s more likely that a child from a deprived background will be targeted, in truth abusers don’t care. If a child can be groomed, can be brought to that place of loneliness, fear, and vulnerability where they will accept being abused, then the abuser will do so. Regardless of that child’s background. Over the years I’ve known child abuse survivors who came from wealthy families, I’ve known survivors who came from the most deprived of backgrounds, I’ve known survivors who have learning, and physical disabilities.
So again, it can happen to anyone. Station is no real defence.
Realising, and accepting this fact can be a key step in becoming a survivor, rather than simply living as a victim. Simply because it can be the step that strips away the illusion that you were cursed. It can be the first step in comprehending one simple fact. Abusers are opportunitistic predators. They will take any opportunity that might even possibly lead to their being able to feed their appetites. And you were unfortunate enough to be in the line of sight when something about you pinged their radar.
It can happen to anyone, because the dumb bad luck of being in a predators line of sight at the wrong moment, or often moments, quite simply obeys the laws of probability.
In the next part I’m going to go extremely personal, and delve into how I believe I came to be targeted by my childhood abusers.
