Posts tagged ‘Kari Byron’

14/07/2012

Discovery Channel, From Hell’s Heart I stab at Thee!

My favourite semi-factual television program is coming back, yup Mythbusters will be back on the air…soon (Semi-factual because it is after all to the scientific method, what Enda Kenny is to political backbones.). Do you know how I know? Discovery Channel aired an advertisement showing the whole gang doing what they do best, making things with duct tape, and blowing random stuff up.

This is great news. It means that when Gold Rush, my second favourite DiscoveryChannel show, has finished its run I can look forward to many hours of the divine Kari Byron, weird (sorta, if you squint real hard) scientific experiments, and big booms.

Do I need another reason to watch?

So if my favourite semi-factual show is coming back for another season, why do I want to stab at the Discovery Channel? Allow me to explain. I was sitting on my delicious recliner couch last night, taking immense satisfaction in Gold Rush’s Dakota Fred receiving a massive karmic enema when it cut to an ad-break. Then there before me appeared a vision in Composition 4, a new season of Mythbusters!

Oh Joy!

Oh Rapture!

Oh Goddesses is Kari Byron a Feckin’ Ride or What?!

What the hell do you mean “Coming Soon”? What date are they back? You frikkin’ assholes!

That is why I want to maroon Discovery at the heart of a dead world, leave them buried alive…buried alive. *coughs* Okay, I’m done with the Star Trek 2 references now. Very little drives me more nuts than this sort of promotional gimmick. The programming controllers in Discovery channel not only know the date, but the exact minute when Mythbusters will return to our screens. So do those who made that promo video. So does the damn voice over artist.

But do they say something like “Mythbusters, returning Octoday, the 34th of the month of the Horned Rat.”? No, despite the fact that would at least be helpful, we would know with certainty that not only are they all nuts over there, but that the read way too many comic-fantasy novels. Instead we get this “Coming Soon” bullshit.

FX did it with the second season of Falling Skies as well, oh and every season of NCIS I’ve seen, oh and season 2 of The Walking Dead. Sky did it with Sinbad, Terra Nova, and…look every channel does this now. And it really pisses me off. It doesn’t build suspense, we know the show is coming back. It doesn’t make us more excited, let’s face it with sequel seasons you already either love or hate the show anyway.

Finally, we do know, that you know, that we know, that you know to the second when the damn show is airing, so why don’t you cut the crap, and JUST TELL US THE FUCKING DATE!

I think I should go cuddle my moms new puppy now. So um yeah, Yay new Mythbusters!

P.S. Don’t tell Kari, but I still have such a thing for Scottie Chapman…

Someone still misses you…*sobs*

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21/02/2012

My Top Ten Most Beautiful Women of – Science Fiction.

It’s been a while since I wrote either a Top 5, or Top 10 list, so I thought why not start with a series of my various celebrity crushes, or more often my crushes on the characters they play. After all everyone loves a Top 10 list, and gorgeousness is always appreciated. So we start today with my Top 10 most beautiful women of science fiction. This is of course a personal list, and as such I fully expect to be loudly argued with over who, and why should have been included. So go on, try. You might even convince me.

10: Maren Jensen – Athena – Battlestar Galactica.

Maren Jensen, how could you not fall for that smile?

Anyone raised on the new reimagined Battlestar Galactica is right now scratching their heads and wonder how I got Grace Parks’ name so wrong. Well for the education of those who don’t know, once upon a time the BSG character Athena was more than just a name that crept in during the 3rd season. In fact once there wasn’t even a 3rd season, only 2 (we don’t count Battlestar 1980, which is a travesty.), and the second one viciously truncated. I am of course speaking here of the original Battlestar Galactica, the western set in space. So while the kiddies are still wondering who she is, their fathers, and probably more than a few of their mothers, are sitting there right this moment with a silly grin fixed on their faces. Yes, that grin, the one that means they went to sleep dreaming about her at some point in their lives.

Anyway Maren Jensen had been a model before she was cast as Athena, the daughter of Commander Adama, sister of Apollo, and woefully underused potential love interest of Starbuck (Yes kiddies, she used to be a dude! And not just any dude either, she used to be Face from the A-Team!). She got cast, and despite having a very short acting career (1978-1981) would go on to have a starring role in bedtime fantasies for decades to come.

9: Clea Duvall – Audrey Hanson – Heroes.

Equal parts deliciousness, and incredibly great actress.

Okay, I’ll be honest here. I watched the first season of Heroes religiously. It was amazing, I’d never seen anything remotely like it before. Then season 2 started, and for me it lost the plot. It quickly became both incomprehensible in a Lost sort of way, as well as boring as hell. The end result being that I saw enough of it to end up wishing to be Clea Duvall’s girlfriend, but not long enough to know much of anything about her character. She plays a FBI agent, named Audrey Hanson…ummm that’s it really. Maybe I should have referenced The Faculty instead? I mean she is after all gothy as hell in that…

Yeah, should have gone with The Faculty. *growls*

8: Erin Gray – Wilma Deering – Buck Rogers in the 25th Century.

Please ignore the emptiness in her eyes, that’s just what comes of being the co-star to Gil Gerard.

Like anyone who was a kid in Ireland in the ’80’s you basically started with just two entry points to science fiction, Battlestar Galactica, and Buck Rogers, (Star Trek didn’t really figure as a television series on Irish terrestrial television, in fact it still doesn’t for some reason). Battlestar Galactica was a family drama in space. Buck Rogers was the Man from U.N.C.L.E. with his space pants on, all preposterous characters, stories, and bad continuity. It even had Earth, Wind, and Fire in an episode for crap sake.

But it also had the wonderful Erin Gray. She played the tough, no-nonsense Colonel Wilma Deering. A pilot, a soldier, at first a martinet, and above all else a slammin’ hottie. It also of course helps a teensy bit that Erin Gray was actually a good actress…

7: Kari Byron – Herself – Mythbusters.

Just, nom, no other words needed.

But Amanda, why is a factual television show on this list? Because gentle deluded reader Mythbusters is to scientific methodology and rigour what Star Trek is to scientific accuracy, i.e. essentially non-adjacent. It’s a damned entertainment show, that in a very, very, VERY rough, and ready manner shows sort of scientific experiments. It might technically be factual, but let’s face it if you’re reading this post you, like me, probably mostly watch it for the divine Miss Kari Byron.

6: Katee Sackhoff – Kara “Starbuck” Thrace – Battlestar Galactica (reimagined).

*sigh* The only woman who ever made me wish I was blonde.

Way back in my first year of transition a television program appeared on our screens. It was well written, well acted, amazingly well cast, and sort of fresh. It was the reimagined Battlestar Galactica, and in the second scene we would be introduced to the tough, drop dead gorgeous, and sweat drenched deliciousness that was the new Starbuck. Played by Katee Sackhoff, Starbuck would have to my mind the most extreme, and unpredictable character story arc of the entire series. But mostly watching her on-screen while I went through the hell of transitioning helped immensely, because one day I might be as insanely hot as she is. Better yet I realised watching her that I could actually be feminine without having to give up most of who I was in order to be some blasted Barbie-doll.

5: Laura Bertram – Trance Gemini – Andromeda.

So much cuter in Purple. And the main reason I still want purple skin,and a tail.

If you’re amongst the 5 people who watched Andromeda regularly, and the 3 who then bought the box sets, then you’ll probably agree that the first season of Andromeda was amazing. It was dark, brooding, original, imaginative, and it didn’t have Kevin Sorbo at the helm yet, so it had yet to devolve into Hercules in space. It also had the character Trance Gemini in her original purple incarnation. Now Laura Bertram is a goddess, plain and simple.

See? A goddess, plain and simple.

But her character Trance Gemini, with the purple skin, the tail, and the weirdly creepy semi-pseudo-innocence was just amazing to watch, and pine for. Her later brown incarnation was still gorgeous, how could it not be it was still after all being played by the same actress, but she had lost something from those first episodes that simply sparkled beauty.

4: Alyson Hannigan – Willow Rosenberg – Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Mostly she was bumbling, and stumbling, but she was always cute, and we loved her for that.

You were a teenager in the ’90’s, right? So you watched Buffy, true? Of course you did, everyone did. Even my mother watched Buffy. And if you watched Buffy you probably fancied Willow. Even straight girls kind of fancied Willow. I mean she was ikkle, and sweet, and cute, and stumbling. Of course later she became stumbling, dark, brooding, lost, and the wielder of powers fit to tear the Earth apart, but we still fancied her. And then she also sometimes became evil, kinky and a vampire…and we all wanted her to bite us.

3: Sigourney Weaver – The Big Guy – Paul.

The Big Guy, her gun is impressive too.

Right now, this second fans of the original Alien movies are screaming for my disembowelment, while fans of Ghostbusters are shrieking for me to be burnt at the stake for heresy. After all why would I ignore her parts in those movies in favour of Paul of all things. Well, Sigourney Weaver usually plays heroines. In Paul she plays a villain, and does so with very obvious glee. The end result being that even while she plays one of the nastiest villains to ever grace a comedy science fiction movie, she manages to do it while being sexy as hell.

2: Eve Gordon – Stacey/Fulla – The Almighty Johnsons.

The Almighty Johnsons is about a family of Norse gods living in New Zealand. They’re opposed in their quest to return to Asgard by a group of goddesses. And one of those goddesses is Stacey/Fulla played by Eve Gordon. Now I couldn’t tell you a damned thing about Eve Gordon, I honestly don’t know if I’ve ever seen her in anything before, though I have a vague feeling that I might have. But I can definitely say this about her now that I’ve watched 3 episodes of The Almighty Johnsons, she’s my kind woman. Sexy eyes, sexy accent, sexy body, and you can just see the actresses personality bubbling away in her eyes trying to get out. Plus she makes a very good-looking sorta-gothic-ish type person, and wields a mean dagger.

1: Amber Benson – Tara Maclay – Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Those eyes, those lips, and that kissable nose. You can see why she’s my number one, right?

Amber Benson is my number 1 for a lot of reasons. I’ve watched numberous interviews with her, and I find her sense of humour hugely entertaining. She comes across as intelligent, fun, and caring. Add that to her looks and you have an utterly devastating combination. As for her character in Buffy, Tara was almost everything I ever wished for in a girlfriend of my age group. Sweet, gentle, caring, somewhat submissive, but also, generally speaking, more than capable of standing up for herself, if push came to shove.

12/11/2011

The ten most awesome things about being – a writer

I don’t think many people would argue that only two groups of people have perfect jobs. Those of course are presenting Top Gear,

or any of the guys who work with the divine Miss Kari Byron.

But a very close run third place must belong to those who are lucky enough to be writers, and here’s why.

10: You get to set your own work hours, to a degree which is nothing less than insanely fantastic. Seriously, if your work schedule is four hours of writing per day why not write at night? When there’s nothing good on television. You can write anytime, anytime at all…

 9: Writing can be your go to reason to get out of almost anything. Hated in-laws call over? Oh I have a to go write. The dog poop needs to be cleaned up in the back yard? Sorry I’m writing. Someone puts X-Factor on the television? Thank fuck I have to go write! (Though in my case with the exception of the last one the others are of course not escapes  I would use.)

 8: I’m not day dreaming. I’m writing in my head. This one’s serious by the way. I do 95% of my writing in my head, character, and plot development, along with basic dialogue, and scene layouts are all done long before anything get’s put on paper.

 7: I’m not having a nap, I’m doing research on a deep subconscious level. That’s why I keep something I can take notes with next to my bed. Usually my Ipaq.

 6: Writing is an excuse to experiment. Everything you experience is something you can draw on for future writing projects. So the best way to get more material to use in your work is to experiment. A three-way with 2 beautiful, submissive, redheaded lesbians? Yep that’s for me, thanks, I’ll take it over here.

 5: If you’re a novelist your job is playing make-believe. That’s right you get to make stuff up, and possibly get paid for it. Every kids dream right?

 4: If you’re a factual writer you get to be a know-it-all for a living. Surely the stuff of dreams for failed college lecturers the world over?

 3: You will probably be admired for doing something other people feel they can’t. This is an odd one, and I’m going to be serious about this. I know so many people who have amazing lives which they could easily use as the foundation for a book. But they don’t. The simple fact is that most people don’t have the determination to be a writer. Even a roughly 500 word article like this one takes a good hour to write, rewrite, and edit. Even then, if you have the right temperament to be a writer, you won’t be happy with it, you could spend a year on it and never be happy with it. So just like your admirers you too may well feel that you can’t do it, the only difference between you and them is that you say “screw that.” and do it anyway.

 2: You get better at it all the time. This is one of my favourite parts of being a writer. I started this blog to become a better technical writer. I mean let’s face it, when I started this blog my writing was a lot less skilled than it is now. After over 120 posts I like to think I’ve become a better writer. Certainly my punctuation and grammar have improved.

1: Chicks dig writers. No really, nothing is more sexually appealing than someone who never get’s much sunlight, and so is pale enough to pass for an Anne Rice character. The ink stains on their hands, and the callous on the side of their right thumb from hitting the space bar are just the icing on the sexyness cake which is the average gothic, lesbian, transgirl writer. (Okay this one might be complete bullshit, but damn I hope it’s true. Miss Amanda needs a new adoring slavegirl.)

18/01/2011

The eternal who’s hotter debate.

Look here’s the thing. while sitting watching NCIS my partner will spend her time gooing over Ziva David while I’m having mental orgasms every time Abby Sciuto wanders into shot.  Many of my friends think that Kari Byron of Mythbusters fame is the hottest thing on two legs, now while I agree she is stunning and would never ever be ejected from my bed for eating chocolate hobnobs I still prefer  Scottie Chapman of the impressive welding and gorgeous tattoos who is now unfortunately long departed from the show.

Most women who love women that I know think Annie Lennox is the pinnacle of womanly hotness where singers are concerned.  Now while I adore her voice, her style and her personality I will always scream “NO!” and trot out the ever beauteous Brody Armstrong of the now defunct Distillers as my prefered girl to sing me to sleep.

That’s the thing about the who’s hotter debate.  No-one can ever win it.  It’s always a purely personal thing.

For example in the movie Troy while most people would probably say that Diana Kruger who played Helen was stunningly beautiful (and to give her everything due she was and is) and was the feminine highlight of the movie I was sitting there hungering to see more of  Briseis played by Rose Byrne.  See what I mean about personal?  Helen spends a large part of the movie naked and in gorgeous ancient world Disney princess dresses while Briseis spends a LOT of her time covered in muck, with cuts on her face and then goes on to mount Brad Pitts Achilles, so in other words she’s hot enough to me to overcome my intense dislike for Brad Pitt.  Impressive

Virtually everyone wants to take Angelina Jolie to bed.  I simply do not understand this to me she looks like a badly designed and constructed fish.  Well ok I’ll admit that for ten minutes in Hackers she’s decent looking, you know the ten minutes she’s in that white jumpsuit, with the short pixie haircut…but then it all went down hill rather quickly for me.

Luckily my partner and I do have some common ground.  We both think that Ellen Degeneres really is nothing special, but her wife Portia De Rossi….well, pass the diabetic friendly chocolate sauce and get out of the room please.  We are gonna make damn sure none of the three of us walks anything like straight for a month.

But all that said surely everyone can agree on there being at least a few common ground women.  Those women who are so gorgeous that they are quite simply above this debate Milla Jovovich, Diane Riggs and of course Helen Mirren.

You see I started writing this because I’ve seen this debate on straight websites, gay websites, television, I’ve listened to it on radio and recently  it’s begun to really annoy me.  Why?  Because as my mother would say there’s someone for everyone.  Even on our worst hair and make up day there will be one person who thinks we’re stunning and on our best day we can all of us manage to pole-axe multiple admirers into walking straight into moving traffic.  So why not just accept that you’re simply not going to get any real consensus on this and move on to something important?  Like who should be declared Empress of Man.

And with that in mind I wish to put my name forward for the afore-mentioned position.  I promise chocolate for all who suffer the blights of periods or children and to make all serving parliaments serve out their terms from the inside Mountjoy Jail.

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