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Little Ruminations on BDSM – Being called a “Fake”

In my BDSM life no four words piss me off more than these.

“So, you’re a fake.”

These are usually used when, while getting to know someone, I talk about how I don’t go to munches or fet-nights. I mean, don’t get me wrong I used to. In my twenties. When I was younger, and everything was new and exciting. But it’s not anymore.

These days I hunger for the BDSM home life. A good meal, a roaring fire, a great movie on the telly, cuddled into my Miss, my pet cuddled up to me.

I find joy in BDSM being subtle. A glance that shows what I want. The look that shows what they need.

My hope is not to only gratify my base desires (no matter how fun they are), but to also show my pet that she is loved, adored, wanted, safe, protected.

So no I’m not interested in going to a fetish club.  After all when I have got a femme-sub…

I don’t get off on training my sub in public, it’s a private act, between, her and I.

I don’t enjoy being surround by a crowd of horny people slobbering over me, my Miss, my pet.

I don’t enjoy watching people who haven’t a clue, showing off, and only revealing, (to those who know what they’re doing), that they actually haven’t a clue.

Hell I don’t like going to bars in the evening. Bars, you know where you sit, and drink socially. Why in the fuck would I, someone who is to say the least a home-bird, want, or be comfortable sharing the single most intimate part of my love life with total strangers?

Why should I have to?

Well I don’t, and I won’t. When I again have a pet, if I ever again have a pet, she will be loved, adored, wanted, safe, protected, and her submission treasured. I don’t need to prove that I’m real to anyone but my Miss, and her.

And you know what, if you have a problem with that, fuck you! The only thing fake about me is my hair color!

(End rant! Guess what was said to me this week?)

Posted on 01/12/2012 at 10:00 AM in BDSM, home life, love, relationships   |  RSS feed |   Reply   |   Trackback URL

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2 Comments to “Little Ruminations on BDSM – Being called a “Fake””

    
  1. Victoria Oldham
    02/12/2012 at 10:24 AM

    It seems to me that anyone who calls someone a fake, in any community, is out of line. Who’s to say what is right or wrong or the best/correct way to do something? Only someone so insecure with themselves they worry that they’re actually the ones on the outside if folks do things they don’t know about.

    Reply
    • Amanda Harper
      02/12/2012 at 3:22 PM

      That would very much be my feeling on it as well Vic. And I’ve always tried to view comments like that in that light, though it can be difficult to do so when all I can think about is head butting them.

      I know people who enjoy public play. It’s their thing as individuals and couples. And I can understand why they do it, and also why they enjoy it as an intellectual thing. For me though…Well let’s put it this way, several years ago my Miss and I went to a private fetish party in West Cork. Well it was actually more in the way of a munch with some very light play. Anyway after a lovely meal with some nice conversation my Miss and I went out to the small cottage we were sleeping in, because neither of us was comfortable, or happy to share our most loving/intimate moments with people who were essentially strangers.

      Right now, there are precisely four people on Earth I would be in anyway comfortable to have around me while my Miss dominated me. One of my adopted lil sisters and her Sir, my Apprentice and her boyfriend and that’s it. Even at that it would have to be very limited play, and genuinely playful rather than anything intensely sexual, or private. I certainly do not want to be surrounded by strangers, and potential enemies while in an extremely vulnerable headspace.

      As I said, I get why other people like to do these things in public. I did do them in the past, in my very late teens and early twenties. But I’m not twenty-three anymore. I’m a thirty-four year old woman. I want home, hearth and family these days. Family of course here being a rather flexible term. 😉

      Reply
    

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