Discovery Channel, From Hell’s Heart I stab at Thee!

My favourite semi-factual television program is coming back, yup Mythbusters will be back on the air…soon (Semi-factual because it is after all to the scientific method, what Enda Kenny is to political backbones.). Do you know how I know? Discovery Channel aired an advertisement showing the whole gang doing what they do best, making things with duct tape, and blowing random stuff up.

This is great news. It means that when Gold Rush, my second favourite DiscoveryChannel show, has finished its run I can look forward to many hours of the divine Kari Byron, weird (sorta, if you squint real hard) scientific experiments, and big booms.

Do I need another reason to watch?

So if my favourite semi-factual show is coming back for another season, why do I want to stab at the Discovery Channel? Allow me to explain. I was sitting on my delicious recliner couch last night, taking immense satisfaction in Gold Rush’s Dakota Fred receiving a massive karmic enema when it cut to an ad-break. Then there before me appeared a vision in Composition 4, a new season of Mythbusters!

Oh Joy!

Oh Rapture!

Oh Goddesses is Kari Byron a Feckin’ Ride or What?!

What the hell do you mean “Coming Soon”? What date are they back? You frikkin’ assholes!

That is why I want to maroon Discovery at the heart of a dead world, leave them buried alive…buried alive. *coughs* Okay, I’m done with the Star Trek 2 references now. Very little drives me more nuts than this sort of promotional gimmick. The programming controllers in Discovery channel not only know the date, but the exact minute when Mythbusters will return to our screens. So do those who made that promo video. So does the damn voice over artist.

But do they say something like “Mythbusters, returning Octoday, the 34th of the month of the Horned Rat.”? No, despite the fact that would at least be helpful, we would know with certainty that not only are they all nuts over there, but that the read way too many comic-fantasy novels. Instead we get this “Coming Soon” bullshit.

FX did it with the second season of Falling Skies as well, oh and every season of NCIS I’ve seen, oh and season 2 of The Walking Dead. Sky did it with Sinbad, Terra Nova, and…look every channel does this now. And it really pisses me off. It doesn’t build suspense, we know the show is coming back. It doesn’t make us more excited, let’s face it with sequel seasons you already either love or hate the show anyway.

Finally, we do know, that you know, that we know, that you know to the second when the damn show is airing, so why don’t you cut the crap, and JUST TELL US THE FUCKING DATE!

I think I should go cuddle my moms new puppy now. So um yeah, Yay new Mythbusters!

P.S. Don’t tell Kari, but I still have such a thing for Scottie Chapman…

Someone still misses you…*sobs*

2 Comments to “Discovery Channel, From Hell’s Heart I stab at Thee!”

  1. Yay Scottie! Dakota Fred is a douchecanoe and yes, this coming soon crap is out of control. It’s the reason I can’t physically mark return dates for my favorite shows on the calendar and be prepared for their return. What happens instead is that they return, I miss two episodes and have to scramble to try to watch them on the in demand channel that NEVER has them in time to get caught up proper or online where the vid quality is crap. By the time i do get caught up I’m so pissed off it takes another month for my fist to not ball up on it’s own at every mention of heinously evil non-specific date starting show.

    So yeah.. I kinda get it.

    • I pretty much do the same thing, though my calendar is on my PC. The coming soon commentary really is getting out of hand. It’s on everything. I think they’d use it on daily soaps if they could get away with it.

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