Okay, it’s official. I want a new body, this one’s broken!

So Friday night I had a date with my Boylesquer. It went pretty damn well, apart from my having to run to the toilet to pee with alarming frequency. The following morning feeling rather squiffy I caught a very early bus home, and spent the day feeling gradually ever more squiffy. (“Squiffy” is my new favourite, not-real word. Say it with me, Squiffy…..aaaaaah)

Then Sunday morning I woke to find that my entire body has decided that it hates me. Not dislikes me, oh no. It actively hates me, in much the same way that I hate soap opera’s, I hate them all so much!

Yes, your intrepid blogger Amanda Harper has a kidney infection. The first one I’ve had in 7 months I might add, which is very much a new personal best for breaks between infections. Go me!

But it does leave me stuck in bed, sore, bored, tired, with an oversized non-vagina adjacent clit which feels rather like how my mouth felt, that time I ate two raw Habanero peppers on a drunken dare. It burns, oh Goddesses it burns!

So Amanda, what’s the point of this post then?

No point. I’m tired, sick, dreading the moment when my Partner in Crime brings home vile, disgusting Cranberry Juice, and I am of course seriously pissed off. So I decided to vent to my wonderful readers. And to reward you all for reading this, here’s a treat. Enjoy. *laughs the evil laugh of the burning pee sufferer*

(Normality, or at least a semblance of normality, will hopefully be returned by Thursday)

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2 Comments to “Okay, it’s official. I want a new body, this one’s broken!”

  1. Aww honey, that’s rubbish! Hope you feel better soon. I thought it might amuse you to know that when I first saw the title of this post I thought it said “I want a new baby”. I also love the word Squiffy 😀 Although I tend to use it to describe that level of drunk just after tipsy but before properly drunk when you talk a little too loud but still think karaoke sucks.

    Anyway, I hope you feel better soon! Sending you love and healing vibes xxx

  2. Aww thanks Kali. Yeah I’d settle for any baby. My Partner in Crimes niece just had one, *melts*, she’s so gorgeous, and that fresh new baby smell. Nommy.

    Yeah I usually use squiffy to describe feeling just plain wrong. So it could be being sick, or feeling like you’re going to have a headache, or that moment when you’re drunk and you realise the hangover has started, while you’re still drunk.

    Thanks, all love and healing vibes gratefully accepted.

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