The Selfishness of Some People.

I travelled down to Cork on Saturday to spend some time with my mother. After almost a week in hospital she finally was left out, and I needed to see that she was really okay with my own eyes. Well, I’m here in Cork now, which is fine. But it meant I had to travel by my greatest bug bear, public transport.

I’ve written before about the horror that is Irish public transport. To say that it is my least favourite way of getting from a to b would be to miss the chance to use some very imaginative foul language. But this time, Irish Rail behaved themselves this Saturday past, aside from holding the train I was on up for ages just outside of Cork City, for rather typical numbskullery.

No, this time what made my adventure in public transportation less than enjoyable, were my fellow passengers.

Let’s start with the guy who decided to pay at the ticket desk with what looked like the price of the fare, in one cent coins. Meaning that I had to sprint to make it to the train in time, when I should have had plenty of time to walk calmly over there.

Then we should move on to the older…gentleman, who had booked an aisle seat, and then refused to move his bag from the window seat because, and I quote. “I booked the aisle seat, and that gives me the right to the window one too.” This of course gave me the right to talk to the host assigned to the train, and have this Nimrod verbally castrated. I of course then took absolutely no pleasure what-so-ever in taking the window seat, thus serving as a living, breathing reminder of his defeat.

After this minor altercation I must mentioned that unidentified individual who decided that they owned the only working toilet on the train. Now, as we all know I have a severe bowel problem, I have spoken about it once, or twice. Sometimes I must have near instant access to a toilet. I have no choice in this. And in fact this is the only reason I take the train whenever I can, because I actually prefer the bus.

Now, when I say that this person decided they owned the toilet, I don’t mean they spent the whole journey in there. Actually the toilet was empty for most of the trip, for a very good reason. You see when I said they felt that they owned it, I meant that they chose to mark their territory, with whatever came to hand. And apparently what came most quick to hand was, and there’s no other way to put this, shite.

Yes, apparently you do.

Yup, they seem to have painted the one, and only working toilet on the entire train, with their own shite. And I had REALLY bad diarrhea that day. And I couldn’t hold it.

I didn’t have a shower when I got to my moms. No I boil washed myself, and then took all of my skin off down to the muscle tissue beneath. It was probably the most disgusting thing I have ever experienced, and I have pee’d in the mens toilet in Cork City’s bus station. So I know the meaning of the word “disgusting.”

I get that some people are just anti-social, in minor ways. I get that some people don’t like to share their space, on a near empty train, I love two free seats to myself as well. But can’t we all agree that people who paint a public convenience with balls of their own shite need to be locked up with car batteries permanently wired to their testicles?