The ten most awesome things about being – a writer

I don’t think many people would argue that only two groups of people have perfect jobs. Those of course are presenting Top Gear,

or any of the guys who work with the divine Miss Kari Byron.

But a very close run third place must belong to those who are lucky enough to be writers, and here’s why.

10: You get to set your own work hours, to a degree which is nothing less than insanely fantastic. Seriously, if your work schedule is four hours of writing per day why not write at night? When there’s nothing good on television. You can write anytime, anytime at all…

 9: Writing can be your go to reason to get out of almost anything. Hated in-laws call over? Oh I have a to go write. The dog poop needs to be cleaned up in the back yard? Sorry I’m writing. Someone puts X-Factor on the television? Thank fuck I have to go write! (Though in my case with the exception of the last one the others are of course not escapes  I would use.)

 8: I’m not day dreaming. I’m writing in my head. This one’s serious by the way. I do 95% of my writing in my head, character, and plot development, along with basic dialogue, and scene layouts are all done long before anything get’s put on paper.

 7: I’m not having a nap, I’m doing research on a deep subconscious level. That’s why I keep something I can take notes with next to my bed. Usually my Ipaq.

 6: Writing is an excuse to experiment. Everything you experience is something you can draw on for future writing projects. So the best way to get more material to use in your work is to experiment. A three-way with 2 beautiful, submissive, redheaded lesbians? Yep that’s for me, thanks, I’ll take it over here.

 5: If you’re a novelist your job is playing make-believe. That’s right you get to make stuff up, and possibly get paid for it. Every kids dream right?

 4: If you’re a factual writer you get to be a know-it-all for a living. Surely the stuff of dreams for failed college lecturers the world over?

 3: You will probably be admired for doing something other people feel they can’t. This is an odd one, and I’m going to be serious about this. I know so many people who have amazing lives which they could easily use as the foundation for a book. But they don’t. The simple fact is that most people don’t have the determination to be a writer. Even a roughly 500 word article like this one takes a good hour to write, rewrite, and edit. Even then, if you have the right temperament to be a writer, you won’t be happy with it, you could spend a year on it and never be happy with it. So just like your admirers you too may well feel that you can’t do it, the only difference between you and them is that you say “screw that.” and do it anyway.

 2: You get better at it all the time. This is one of my favourite parts of being a writer. I started this blog to become a better technical writer. I mean let’s face it, when I started this blog my writing was a lot less skilled than it is now. After over 120 posts I like to think I’ve become a better writer. Certainly my punctuation and grammar have improved.

1: Chicks dig writers. No really, nothing is more sexually appealing than someone who never get’s much sunlight, and so is pale enough to pass for an Anne Rice character. The ink stains on their hands, and the callous on the side of their right thumb from hitting the space bar are just the icing on the sexyness cake which is the average gothic, lesbian, transgirl writer. (Okay this one might be complete bullshit, but damn I hope it’s true. Miss Amanda needs a new adoring slavegirl.)

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2 Comments to “The ten most awesome things about being – a writer”

  1. All of these apply to editing as well–working from home, never having to get out of your pjs if you don’t want to, and enough caffeine to justify buying stock in coffee beans.

    • Well not having any real experience of editing I’ll have to take your word for it. But yeah I’m seriously thinking of taking out stock in some coffee bean company, especially since I basically mainline espresso by the mug full.

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