“…as the bishop said to the actress!”

I’m sure all of you have heard, or at least read the classic punch line “…as the bishop said to the actress.”  It’s the punch line to a joke that never really gets started purposefully.  I literally can’t begin to count the number of times myself, or a friend has ended an unintended double entendre with that phrase.  So I thought I would do my top ten favourite set ups for this classic sort of joke.

To take part simply recite “…as the bishop said to the actress!” at the end of each example.  Hope you enjoy, and of course, please feel free to comment and add more.

10. I was having blood taken and the nurse said “Ah sure, it’ll just be a little prick.”…

9.  Oh I was walk in the woods and I fell arse-first onto a tree root…

8.  *speaking of a small pet dog* Oh don’t way any attention to that little prick…

7.  …and they were the plumpest, juciest plums I ever sank my teeth into…

6.  …and they were the biggest, firmest melons I ever laid my hands on, even if they were a wee bit veiny…

5.  Now look, it’s far more scared of you, than you are of it…

4.  I bet you’ve never held one that big before…

3.  So how do you use one of these properly?

2.  …so there I was with it half in me pocket and half in me hand…

1.  Get your lips around that and it’ll do you the world of good…

So now it’s your turn.

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