Summertime and the breathing is wheezy.

Well it’s that time of year again, hay fever season.  After a three day migraine, I woke this morning to the delightful sensation of blood dripping from my nose.  This being a yearly occurence which only happens during the opening days of my annual hay fever, I am pleased to announce the beginning of Summer.  Yeah, yeah I know, technically it’s been Summer for a fortnight, but to me nothing says Summer like coughing, wheezing and occasionally bleeding.

I am to say the very least not a Summer person.  After all, to any good gothgirl that shiny yellow bastard in the sky means only one thing, potential death to our hard-won paleness.  But add in the sensation of being too hot to move, along with the sun blazing through windows every morning, at horribly early o’ clock and you end up with a very unhappy night owl.  No Summer does not make this gothgirl happy.  Instead of bouncing happily through the overcast streets of Dublin, I shall be slinking from one pool of shadow to another.  Waking up even grouchier than normal.  And ejecting my own body weight in mucus from my sinuses on a daily basis.

That said it is also true that Summer does have it’s…compensations, especially if you lesbian.  It is when you come down to it, the only time of year, that here in Ireland, the lesser tattooed hottie emerges from her Winter coat to bask in the warm Summer sun.  For those of us, dedicated to the hobby of hot-tattooed-bird-twitching, (this being a lesser known branch of birdwatching in general), there is only a short window in which to gaze with awe, reverence and wonder at this most wonderous of natures displays.  Indeed nothing brings greater joy to the heart of the gothgirl hot-tattooed-bird-twitcher than to spend, literally hours, sitting comfortably in a local watering-hole with a few of her closer female friends, while watching the arrival of this rarest of Irish sights.

Look you and see how beautiful they are.  The choppy, elfin haircuts with their plumage of many primary colors, provided by peroxide and Crazy Color.  The tight, tight clothing wrapped in small strips around bodies that are, thankfully, not too skinny, but instead look as though you could give them a good squeeze without fear of breaking their spines in half.  And yes, yes, OH BIG MOMMA YES!  She is both tattooed and pierced.  And we’re not talking a slag-tag here, we’re talking a full sleeve of perfectly drawn tattoo’s and yes I do believe that she also has a really wonderful chest piece also. Oh and she has sub-dermal implants.  Divine, simply bewitching.

This of course leads to the polyamorous, gothgirl hot-tattooed-girl-twitcher,  thinking about slowly approaching said rare specimen.  So you stand up, straighten your babydoll dress, making sure you won ink and piercings are visible and over you walk, in as sultry and alluring a way as you can.  You open your mouth to tell her how gorgeous she would look in your arms, though not quite that blatantly, there is after all a place for subtlety in this situation…

And you snort out a huge dollop of mucus, closely followed by a steady flow of blood, right onto your own breasts…

Damn it I really hate Summer, the season of wheezing.

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