Archive for February 26th, 2011


BDSM how it could/should be – The Good Slavegirl

In the first post in this series of blogs I spoke about some of the aspects that go into turning a dominant woman into a good Mistress. In this issue it’s time to turn the table right around and speak about what it takes and what it means to be a good slave. As before the terms I use in these articles are not hardened definitions and should be used more as a guide to your own experience. The simple fact being that every person who enters the world of kink always reinvent it to some degree to suit themselves.

The image most people have of a Slavegirl probably starts and ends with a beautiful young woman, she’s wearing anything from a flawlessly pressed skirt suit (very short skirt with stockings and no panties of course) to a skin-tight latex catsuit. Can’t you see her now? Kneeling at her Mistresses side. The Mistress holding a leash that connects to the Slavegirl’s collar. You can add to this image that the Slavegirl has a rapacious sexual appetite, wants to be displayed publicly in the most humiliating ways and wants nothing more from life than to be serving at her Mistresses whims.

In reality for many real life Slavegirls being in that position is their idea of Heaven on Earth and is often precisely where they aspire to be. And strangely the public image of what being a slavegirl actually contains some elements of the truth. Though in reality Slavegirls come in every age group and every body type imaginable. They usually find the reality of waiting on their Mistresses every whim 24/7 in the Hollywood fashion boring as hell. Oh and the really good ones are rarely all that young.

One of the symbols of submission a handmade slavegirl's leash, complete with the heart string she tugs on.

But regardless the image above does almost nothing to fill in the blanks of  what goes into the making of a Slavegirl. Or more to the point what makes a Slavegirl into a truly good example of the breed.

Being a Slavegirl rather obviously starts from a mentality of submissiveness. The concept of submissiveness gets a an awful lot of bad press. It’s seen as being weak, bendable, pliable, easily led. Being submissive is usually seen as somehow lesser than being dominant. And yes sometimes for some people being submissive in nature is a bad, even dangerous thing. Just think of any victim of abuse who finds themselves accepting it all as simply their lot in life. This is unfortunately a very realistic example of the dangerous side of being a submissive individual.

However in the BDSM context the stronger member of any Dominant/submissive (D/s) pairing will usually be the submissive, the Slave.

Strength is very much at the heart of what makes a good Slavegirl. It takes immense strength of character and even greater strength of will to freely accept the orders of another. To do her Mistresses bidding even when what she may want could well be the very last thing the Slavegirl wants. It takes strength of will to accept and endure a punishment when it is deserved. More still to accept that when the punishment is over that the issue which led to it is now in the past and dead. But it also takes strength for the Slavegirl to stay with her Mistress even when life for one reason or another isn’t so much fun knowing full well that she can leave whenever she wishes.

A Slavegirl has to be brave. Courageous almost to a fault in some ways. If as a Slavegirl you are lucky enough to have met a good Mistress she is going to spend a great deal of time training you. While often that training will be composed of simpler things like learning her perception of proper table manners, it will also sometimes involve doing things that are physically difficult, even painful. Sometimes that training will involve skirting the very edges of a Slavegirls phobias with the intent of helping her to find a safe way past the fears which limit her as a person. Even mundane acts (in a BDSM sense) such as being flogged or caned can take immense courage. A lot the first time but even more so later when the Slavegirl knows precisely what is to come.

A good Slavegirl contrary to what most people might think, including unfortunately a great many Dominants, needs to be a bit mouthy. The little mouse of a girl who sits in silence when she is challenged will seldom be a good Slavegirl. Though in time with caring guidance she may well grow into one. When she has accepted a collar from her Mistress she then becomes her Mistresses greatest partisan. She really should be expected to stand up for her Mistress when needed even when doing so scares her.

From all of this what can we work out? The Slavegirl is of course submissive but she is a person with a strong core, she should be brave and be loud enough to speak up when it’s needed. As her Mistresses property she should, indeed must keep her Mistresses wishes foremost in her mind during her day to day living. As her Mistresses partisan she should be the first to defend her Mistresses reputation and honour.

But these merely describe a common garden variety Slavegirl, what is it that turns the common into the exceptional?

A short story will perhaps illustrate what is needed. A Mistress and Slavegirl with whom I was once acquainted moved to Canada to get married and settle down. Shortly after they decided to adopt an at the time unborn baby. This baby was still snug in the womb of a woman who in addition to having no immediate family of her own was also in the late stages of a terminal illness.

The day arrived when the baby was to come home and the Slavegirl, due to the Mistresses work schedule had to go alone to the hospital to take their new child home. When she arrived the babies biological mother was saying a very tearful final goodbye to her baby girl.

Well to cut a long story short the Slavegirl rang her Mistress and after lambasting her for ten minutes she took both the baby and her mother home.

That Slavegirl and that story is a wonderful example of what makes the difference. Of what makes a Slavegirl a truly good Slavegirl.

From it you can see that while a Slavegirl thinks of her Mistress and her BDSM family (her Mistress and  slave-sisters/brothers where applicable) a good Slavegirl’s thoughts go beyond that. She has the moral strength to do what’s right even if it means going toe to toe with her Mistress when she knows she has to. She has the personal strength to stand by her decisions and is honourable in her dealings with those she can lend aid to.

To me being the Good Slavegirl is much like being a Good Mistress. It’s a way of viewing the world and your place in it. Yes a Good Slavegirl, indeed any Slavegirl will be part lover, part confidant, part handmaid and often enough a living breathing sex toy to boot. But the Good Slavegirl, the one every domina worth her salt dreams of owning is also an honourable, ethical creature. The submissive woman whom you could willingly entrust the fate of a world to, because you know in the end she will act in the best interests of all and make you only prouder to be the possessor of her submissive soul.

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