Look here’s the thing. while sitting watching NCIS my partner will spend her time gooing over Ziva David while I’m having mental orgasms every time Abby Sciuto wanders into shot. Many of my friends think that Kari Byron of Mythbusters fame is the hottest thing on two legs, now while I agree she is stunning and would never ever be ejected from my bed for eating chocolate hobnobs I still prefer Scottie Chapman of the impressive welding and gorgeous tattoos who is now unfortunately long departed from the show.
Most women who love women that I know think Annie Lennox is the pinnacle of womanly hotness where singers are concerned. Now while I adore her voice, her style and her personality I will always scream “NO!” and trot out the ever beauteous Brody Armstrong of the now defunct Distillers as my prefered girl to sing me to sleep.
That’s the thing about the who’s hotter debate. No-one can ever win it. It’s always a purely personal thing.
For example in the movie Troy while most people would probably say that Diana Kruger who played Helen was stunningly beautiful (and to give her everything due she was and is) and was the feminine highlight of the movie I was sitting there hungering to see more of Briseis played by Rose Byrne. See what I mean about personal? Helen spends a large part of the movie naked and in gorgeous ancient world Disney princess dresses while Briseis spends a LOT of her time covered in muck, with cuts on her face and then goes on to mount Brad Pitts Achilles, so in other words she’s hot enough to me to overcome my intense dislike for Brad Pitt. Impressive
Virtually everyone wants to take Angelina Jolie to bed. I simply do not understand this to me she looks like a badly designed and constructed fish. Well ok I’ll admit that for ten minutes in Hackers she’s decent looking, you know the ten minutes she’s in that white jumpsuit, with the short pixie haircut…but then it all went down hill rather quickly for me.
Luckily my partner and I do have some common ground. We both think that Ellen Degeneres really is nothing special, but her wife Portia De Rossi….well, pass the diabetic friendly chocolate sauce and get out of the room please. We are gonna make damn sure none of the three of us walks anything like straight for a month.
But all that said surely everyone can agree on there being at least a few common ground women. Those women who are so gorgeous that they are quite simply above this debate Milla Jovovich, Diane Riggs and of course Helen Mirren.
You see I started writing this because I’ve seen this debate on straight websites, gay websites, television, I’ve listened to it on radio and recently it’s begun to really annoy me. Why? Because as my mother would say there’s someone for everyone. Even on our worst hair and make up day there will be one person who thinks we’re stunning and on our best day we can all of us manage to pole-axe multiple admirers into walking straight into moving traffic. So why not just accept that you’re simply not going to get any real consensus on this and move on to something important? Like who should be declared Empress of Man.
And with that in mind I wish to put my name forward for the afore-mentioned position. I promise chocolate for all who suffer the blights of periods or children and to make all serving parliaments serve out their terms from the inside Mountjoy Jail.
My Random Ruminations. 